Field of Science

Cat Factoid in Doubt

Mrs. Phactor related this cat factoid to me last night: 73% of cat owners let their cat sleep on their bed.  This is simply not true, not factually accurate.  First, even assuming that their data is correct, the statement is simple wrong.  Stated correctly this factoid should read: 73% of cats decide to sleep on their owners' beds.  What makes people think it was their decision?  Duh!  Second, our data, albeit a smaller sample size, suggests at least 84% of cats want to sleep on your bed, but rarely two at one time.  In all cases the younger of the pair prevails in occupying the bed space even when there is room for two with considerable spatial separation.  Exceptions are usually siblings.  Our number 2 cat having been dispossessed of bed space keeps a careful watch on the guest bed, and should you visit be assured that you too can have a cat sleep with you.  It's a service the cats provide.  You're welcome, and if you do not own a cat and don't actually like cats that much, it virtually assures attentive service.  During our waking hours though, the not-the-bed cat has become the adoring lap cat.  Third, almost all cat owners know that when you are not around, all cats sleep on the bed, all, especially it you are one of the 27% of cat-owning fools who think you can keep them off the bed.  They'll also sleep on the dining room table, on the kitchen chairs, in the laundry basket, on top of book shelves, on the living room furniture, on the dog, in you closet, in the clothes dryer, and indeed, anywhere they can access.  We have considered a cat cam, but why confirm what you already know especially if it's going to bother you?  About 24% of our cats haven't actually slept on the bed, but rather they slept on you while you were in bed.  One hefty lunk used to drape himself across my ankles using them rather like a chaise lounge and leaving TPP lame until the circulation was restored in the morning.  One used to wrap around Mrs. Phactors head and purr, and another use to snuggly occupy the curvature made by the backside of her legs.  This was a big cat so guess who would get pushed out of bed?  Oh, and he snored, or breathed heavily at any rate, and she loved him dearly.  And how is all this behavior explained?  The basic cat philosophy is simple to understand: all this is mine.  

1 comment:

JaneB said...

The current feline incumbent around here likes to sleep on my chest, with her tail draped across my face. She never actually gets to do it for long, but I had a lot of dreams about being attached by hearth rugs or bears or otherwise smothered before I finally got a cat-resistant door closure arrangement...