Tired of evolution? Move to Kansas!

The Onion reports that in response to a public referendum Kansas has outlawed evolution. Bacteria will be prevented from mutating, but trying to prevent crossing over and independent assortment during meiosis will be really difficult, unless you just outlaw sex altogether since its purpose is to produce genetic variation among offspring. Of course under no circumstances will either natural or artificial selection be practiced. "Although the full impact of the new law will likely not be felt for approximately 10 million years, most Kansans say they are relieved that the ban went into effect this week, claiming that evolution may have gone too far already."
This was really good, but it would have been a bit more believable had it been Oklahoma rather than Kansas.