When spouse and F1 team up on you, you don't really stand a chance. In this case however they teamed up with the NSA or some other nefarious government agency to track my movements. You see, since retirement freed TPP from his academic demands and regular schedules, his where abouts have been far less certain, so in an effort to maintain communications with a this retired botanist, his significant others exercised a family plan and acquired a smart phone for him, his first ever cell phone of any sort. Now one point that they made was that field work is a "young" man's game, and that solo field work by a clumsy aging fool would be safer if it were possible to call for help. OK, a valid point. Hmm, does the new wine bar deliver? That could be handy. A colleague and collaborator upon learning of this acquisition said, "Let's see it." TPP replied, "Well, I don't have it with me." They then suggested that somehow the main point of owning such a device was being missed. When you have carried nothing in your pockets for years, this is quite a change. But now comes the real question, what are the best apps for a botanical scientist and gardener? Surely some uber geek readers can make some suggestions otherwise TPP is facing a steep learning curve. Now about that chip implanted in the back of my neck; what's that for?