An Engraved Email Invitation to the Oxford Round Table!

Memo to: The Phytophactor's alter ego
From: Canon Brian Mountford, Vicar of the historic University Church of St. Mary the Virgin of the University of Oxford and Fellow of St. Hilda’s College in the University of Oxford
(Don't laugh, we go way back!)
RE: Your invitation to participate in the 16th Oxford Round Table Session on Religion, Modernity, and Human Rights. (A favorite topic of botanists!)
All the rest of the falderal, fancy titles, impressive sounding what-nots leaves no doubt what an honor this invitation is, and all for a registration fee of merely $1865 not including travel, room, and board. Hard to know what Hawaiian shirt would be best worn to dinner at Oxford College? So, I say, old chap, sad how the academic high and mighty have fallen upon such hard times that they must stoop to proffering, at no small price, some tiny vestige of their prestige to the likes of the Phactor, my personage being a so well known thinker on religion, modernity, and human rights. This is rather like the people who like seeing their own self-nominated name in the Who's Who of people who think that counts for something. However, this was a class act come-on. The memo was addressed to my real first name, even though we are not actually that well acquainted, and Professor would have been a more appropriate form of address don't you think, even if delivered by email? So you are left wondering how many others were so honored with this invitation? Oh, 35 others? Nice touch to make it sound exclusive don't you think? This deserves a fancy font.