Field of Science

Seasonal Holiday Blogging - Phlox News' Phony Outrage

Oh no, some grinchy, scroogey school district is prohibiting kids from wearing Christmas colors, our favorite seasonal red/green motif (Wait until that Canadian guy with all the duct tape finds out!). When Phlox News posts a news article about the War on Christmas it pretty much assures you that it will be borderline hysterical, and not in the ha-ha funny way, although they can be funny in sort of a pathetic way, at least to us educational elites. Now of course all reputable news organizations check their facts, so of course you know Phlox News did not find out their story was completely false until after they posted it, but this is not really about Phlox News because frankly they are not very interesting. What the Phytophactor finds interesting is the idea that red and green are Christmas colors when actually they are pagan through and through, long associated with a Druidic celebration of the winter solstice. What would really cheer up the season, and send Phlox News into a hissy fit, would be little Balder (reference to some almost appropriate Norse mythology) arriving at school dressed in sweater emblazoned with a falalalala deck the halls green and red holly motif (a seasonal blogging theme that has already taken some surprising turns) and after being told he should not be wearing Christmas colors to school he says, “Christmas? I’m a Druid celebrating the arrival of the winter solstice”, so Balder alone gets to keep his sweater right side out and everybody else has to turn their Christmas sweaters inside out. Happy HOLIDAYS Phlox News.

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