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in The Biology Files
A plant pundit comments on plants, the foibles and fun of academic life, and other things of interest.
New 22nd century garden tool - Weed Phaser Rifle
This is just so cool! It's always nice when space technology gets some new and innovative uses right back here on Earth for your own garden. Our June deluge has weeds just shooting up out of the ground, and the new StarFleet (TM) technology has arrived just in time for you to shoot back: a weed phaser rifle (some assembly required)! The wave length has been adjusted so that only green plants are affected, so you can't use the weed phaser to zap squirrels or rabbits or the neighbors' dogs (drat!). In fact, and ironically, the human safety factor makes the weed rifle phaser illegal in most of the gun maniac states, but perfectly OK in all sane states. TPP does understand that a robotic fox is being developed for rabbit problem. (Too bad it wasn't a robot tayra; you should see them go up trees.) A digital screen on the weed phaser allows you to isolate a particular weed. The phaser then selects targets using that image, so the phaser can be set to automatic, scanned across a bed, and it will zap each weed when the image filter is tripped! Here's the best part; there is no stun setting! Oh, no, just total obliteration of weeds including Romulan thistle! This is the answer to so many gardener's prayers! This is better than my Father's flame thrower which was a bit indiscriminate. Please, please, make it so!
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