Columbus Day? Cola Day?

Who knew? Who cares? Some of our official holidays make no sense what so ever. That schools, banks, and the post office are closed makes no never mind and affects my daily routine not at all, so the Phactor didn't even know it was Columbus Day. But what do we celebrate? Everyone is pretty certain that Columbus did not discover the "new world", and some of his exploits and motivations are not precisely good as role models. To honor the fact that he made more than one round trip Columbus is honored by having several traffic circles named after him, and that would seem adequate at this point. Some historians suggest the holiday was conceived to honor Italian-Americans, but each and every pizzeria does that quite well. Praise be. To keep things similar and easy to remember, maybe Columbus day should be renamed Cola Day to honor those two fine post-Civil War pharmacists whose concoctions, both patent medicines, one to improve your brain functioning and alertness and the other to treat upset stomach (dyspepsia) should be honored by toasting them with the appropriate beverages, diluted with rum. Certain the colas have had more of a major impact on our country and society than Columbus. What a great reason for a day off!