Lost on Campus

A public university is a big place, with lots of things and lots of people, and some of these people have the job of making it possible, and easier (?) for other people to find whom so ever they are looking for. Having maddenly thumbed through our campus directory, and the campus search page, and the university a-z online listing without yet finding what is know to exist, a few rules come to mind for there special people.
One: University anything is a pretty dumb ass name. Of course, it's the university what ever, that's where we are, and even if lost you're pretty damned sure you're at a university. So looking up anything under the heading university is really stupid. Two: Office of anything is another pretty dumb ass name. Of course it's an office. There are really only a hand full of things on a university campus: classrooms, labs, centers which are like labs but not scientific, rooms which is pretty generic, and offices. Listing something under office of is particularly stupid. And let's add Center of, Laboratory of, College of, Campus, and Student anything. You're either a student, a facult/ystaff member, or an administrator, and since things are pretty student centered around here, odds are way better than one in three that most things are for students, so listing something as Student anything is way silly. And there are centers for this and centers for that, except for a bit of variation on the theme, the Career Center. See how easy that was? Just remember kids, you don't want a Job, you want a career, so don't look for a job center, but in the Career Center there is a Job Board! Are you on a university campus? Yes, well, where would you find the Campus Recreation Center or the Center of Campus Recreation? Why, it's right here on campus, which funny enough, for many years it wasn't! Who would have thunk it? Three: people shouldn't have to know the organizational chart of the university to find something. No one cares who answers to whom when they want to find them, but at least if you start with a vice-president of something, everything is under one of them. Maybe if everyone just kept calling the v-p's and asking, "What the hell have you done with your Office (Center/Laboratory/College) of dadada", they'd get the idea and make a real directory. Four: Fancy sounding titles don't change what you do, so get over it and leave it easy for people to find you. Remember when all campuses had a union, a place where you could get coffee and some food? Forget that. Although the Old Union exists, but it isn't one anymore. Personnel. How hard is that? Too easy, it's the Office of Human Resources and Employee Assistance, thereby breaking two rules out of just 4. The Media Center became Teaching Technology and is now the Laboratory for Integrated Learning and Technology which isn't the same as the Center for Teaching, Learning, and Technology; but you already knew that didn't you? And oh woe is you if you need a janitor, and can't remember that the physical plant is part of University Facilities Management, and under that listing, and then under Building Maintenance is Building Services, and then Janitorial Services. Or is it now Waste Removal Engineers?