Cats ownership prevents heart attacks

I have long thought that cats contributed to good mental health. I have always been suspicious of dog owners; people whose personalities constantly need unquestioning adoration. But cats have a certain attitude, and they don't suckup to you like dogs. I have always felt better for having one, or two, or three cats around. But who knew that owning a cat could lead to a much reduced risk of heart attack?

Well, if having one kitty cat is good for your health, then just think how healthy you are going to be with 50 pounds of Maine coon cats! T-Bear and Rocky, pictured here on bird feeder patrol, provide a whole bunch of preventative medicine.

Seriously, how could cats possibly reduce your risk of heart attack, especially since dog ownership did not do a thing for your health? A couple of furry baffoons is certainly a great stress reliever, and nobody gives better lessons in relaxation than cats. I often envy their ability to flop liquidly and drop to sleep so effortlessly. Stress is not in their vocabulary, as long as car rides are not in their itinerary. And even better, their favorite recreational substance, catnip, isn't against the law.

When you arrive home after a stressful, hectic day, your preventitive medicine meets you at the door and demands to be fed, as if you existed for any other purpose. And that's the key. Cats put you in your cosmic place, and not being comfortable with your own insignificance produces a lot of anxiety. The zen of cats is sort of contrarian in nature. Cats like to help, to make your life better. And if you're feeling a bit down, their assistance with little things, like unrolling all the toilet paper or fishing the ice cubes out of your margarita with their furry paw, all the while purring contentedly about the great job they are doing, will naturally make you feel better.