Stocking stuffer for gardeners

Here's a shopping suggestion if you need a present for the serious gardener who has almost everything: the Weed Wrench. This is the greatest gadget ever! Weed Wrenches do one thing; they latch onto woody weeds and allow you to pull them out of the ground, roots and all! The Phactor's wife feels like Wonder Woman using this tool; a 20 to 1 leverage can do that for you. And this is the third smallest Weed Wrench which is completely capable of yanking out saplings up to 1" in diameter, and in big shady estate like ours, woody weeds are the arch nemesis. This tool can only be obtained via an order form on the internet. Now the Phytophactor has high standards, he doesn't sell out (cheaply), and this is an unsolicited indorsement. But just maybe if everyone mentions where they heard of the Weed Wrench, those fellows will send the Phactor a case of wine (something red and dry please) for New Year's, and everyone will be happy.

Weed with an attitude

Honey, would you be a dear and remove a couple of weeds from my perennial garden? Sure. What a epic struggle! The weeds in question were pokeweed (Phytolacca americana), and they were 6 feet tall with roots all the way to southern hemisphere. The tap roots were actually larger in diameter than my forearm, and the bloody shame of it is that there's nothing good you can do with such a nastily toxic plant. Why a fellow can work up quite a thirst pulling poke. And how do they get so big so fast? Looks like we neglected the garden for years, but not at all. Our might weed wrench doesn't work on them either because the herbaceous stems, as big as they are, are too soft for the jaws of death.
Innovation: Saw a fellow pulling up big old tent stakes with a nifty device and pulled them using a small motor driven puller. So what about hooking up weed wrench type jaws to such a motorized puller? Any handy inventor types out there to whip up a prototype?

On the weed war path

A late spring and a sudden transition to summer (drinking an iced coffee) has done nothing for my humor or my field work, but the weeds have done quite well, and so the Phactors have declared war upon weeds. Please notice that there was a formal declaration of war after we were invaded first and we only wage war to protect the homeland gardens. Here are the worst offenders: Indian strawberry, creeping charlie, oxalis, tillering grass, and the usual array of woody weeds: wild cherry, hackberry, sugar maple, redbud. In shady areas there can be 100-300 woody weed seedlings per square yard, and if you don't get them young, you end up with many less, but much harder weeds to remove (all hail the weed wrench!). The next step will be re-mulching lots of beds and paths. One good trick for gardens and paths is to put down either two layers (2 sheets) of newspaper or one layer of construction paper under the mulch. It decomposes but blocks weeds quite well for a season. This is particular important around shrubs and trees that do not like the fabric weed barriers, which are only useful under hard scape. Here's the real secret about weeding; get Mrs. Phactor going. She's a demon on weeds, sort of gets to a point where she just can't stand the sight of them any more, and shazam! Oops, caught taking a blog break!

Giving weeds no [lamb's] quarter

This has been a great year for certain weeds, weeds that are generally no so much of a problem. Thousands of sugar maple and red bud seedlings are quite usual because when you have huge sugar maple trees and many redbuds, well, that's just what you get.  In the lawns the seedlings just  get mowed, but so much of our yard are gardens woody weeds just have to be pulled or your garden starts becoming a forest, an unwanted succession.  A 3 foot tall redbud "sapling" was found in the raspberry bed, and the weed wrench (greatest tool not being sold any more as a political protest against government intrusion?) managed to pull it from the rain-softened ground 5 foot long root and all!  Hackberry seedlings are also a problem for the same reasons. This year lamb's quarter is everywhere in remarkable numbers as if someone had sprinkled it's seeds everywhere.  No idea how or why such a population boom occurred; it wasn't because we were neglectful last year. Wild lettuce and black nightshade is also pretty common this year too.  Some disturbances upwind may be the source of so many new weeds in such numbers. Pokeweed is pretty common in some areas, and in this case it's because some neighbors think poke a nice plant whose berries are good food for birds. Poke seedlings are clustered under bird perch locations, so they are quite right, and our yard provides lots of lodging while the neighbor's yard provides lots of food whose seed then gets transferred. A lot of work has gotten us to the point of almost being on top of the situation, although you realize you'll just have to do it again next year.

Red bud fracking instead of hydraulic fracking

Hydraulic fracking is quite an issue just now in Lincolnland.  One of the key issues is how much water must be used to fracture deep sediments.  This is one of those things where industry wants to pretend the resource is free, the water is free, without an environmental cost.  It would be nice if there were an alternative to using water to fracture those deep sediments.  Then came this idea.  Plant red buds, lots of them over the sediment you wish to fracture. Based upon the effort needed to pull a tiny red bud seedling from the ground and the length and depth of its root penetration, by the time the red bud stem reaches about the diameter of your finger, it's roots should have penetrated the sediments in question and simply pulling the red buds will certainly fracture the sediments in question.  This is a simple extrapolation of the finding that 3-4 inch tall red bud seedlings, some with the cotyledons still attached, have a root penetration somewhere around a mile and a half based upon those TPP has pulled.  By the time you notice red bud seedlings, they are already too deeply rooted to pull even if you have a weed wrench. Hmm, that's the problem obviously, nothing we've invented can pull up such roots.  Drat!  So close to a solution. 

Woody weeds - the bane of shade gardens

The biggest problem with shade gardens are the tree seedlings, woody weeds.  Red bud are the worst  because their roots go so deep so soon.  A six inch seedling can be impossible to pull by hand with roots somewhere down in the Carboniferous.  Sugar maple seeds like only a truly mammoth tree can produce are a somewhat different type of problem; they're easy enough to pull but at a density of a couple of dozen per square foot it's a major chore. Same goes for have a couple of dozen red bud trees; pretty and pretty prolific.  Hackberry and cherry are concentrated under roost trees where their bird dispersers leave the seeds.  When very young hackberry are easy enough, but give them enough of a start and they have a deep root too.  The weed wrench only helps when the seedlings are big enough and you don't want them to grow that long.  Even the kitchen garden is not immune and the maple seedling weeds are so thick you have to look close to find smaller garden plants.  And the squirrels just couldn't get much fatter, and no, more squirrels is not any sort of solution.  Between us we've clear cut a forests of trees, just at a seedling stage.  Whew!