Political retirement in Lincolnland

The most recent former governor of Lincolnland, Rob Bag-o-chips has been retired to a federal pen for the next 12 years (85% of a 14 year sentence) making him the 4th of the last 7 to end up in the pokey. This tells you a great deal about how politics works in our fair state; it's all about money and you pay the man. Lincolnland has a 2 party system giving you the choice between incompetent and crooked. Hopefully someday the grand high potentate of Madiganistan, the guy who runs the entire legislature, will break through the ethical thin ice upon which he skates, but he is just so good at it. Don't think any other state can match this record.

Lincolnland 47th – one of least corrupt states!!!

How can our dear state of Lincolnland be one of the least corrupt states in the USA? What an outrage! Our state has more politicians in prison than any other state, well, except maybe New Jersey. And we rank only 18th in racketeering and extortion! This state elevated racketeering to an art form! Does the name Capone ring a bell? Let's face it, this ranking can’t be true, so how did anyone decide Lincolnland was 46th in the nation in fraud, 50th in the nation in forgery and counterfeiting, and 51st, dead last, in embezzlement? 51st! How can you be 51st out of 50? What we beat out DC? No way DC beats Chicago at anything (especially hockey!)!! Did the citizens of Linconland give back their pay because they took long coffee breaks rather than steal money from their employers? Well, we won’t stand for this! Who do they think they’re dealing with!
It helps you understand this travesty if you see what they are using for data. These rankings are based on the number of arrests for forgery, racketeering, fraud, and embezzlement. Duh! 46 states have arrested more people for all these crimes over the last 10 years or so and so theose states are more corrupt? You must be kidding! All those crooks are still running around free here in Lincolnland you morons! No one arrested them! Apparently our state doesn't arrest anyone for embezzlement. These other states are cleaning house; our crooks are still cleaning up. You idiots have got the rankings exactly backwards! And when you realize that, it puts Lincolnland in 3d place just about where it belongs! After all, New Jersey has to have something to brag about.