Hippy Mulch

The people over at the Garden Rant blog are far too nice about hippy mulch.  Has your mulch faded my friends?  Is it looking a bit dingy and dull?  Are your neighbors looking over the fence and clucking their tongues?  Are you too busy to spread some fresh mulch?  Well, here's the answer to your problems: hippy mulch!  And not only that, but for absolutely free this one time offer will throw in two dyes to match your favorite team's colors!  That will look just great out front!  This spray on dye job is to real mulch as the spray paint cover ups for male-patterned baldness is to hair, just not quite as creepy.  Does this mean Ron Popeil is back?  This product is something that no real gardener would want or use.  Colorizing your mulch?  Next you will be dying your Shasta daisies garish colors; what, oh no, crazy daises (or is it just dyesies, think Australian) are for real!  However, maybe the two products can be combined!  The Queen of Hearts will be so pleased; white roses dyed red and right along with her faded mulch.  And lastly these folks mix up the early 60s hippy era with the flower children of the late 60s and early 70s.  Scheesh!